The Gift of Love

When times are tough and you feel lost in a sea of sadness, when you feel confused and uncertain of your future, what is the one thing you can absolutely, unquestionably, securely trust?

Of course, there are some answers that can easily be ruled out. You know you can't trust your career, money, possessions, or the government. When you are really hurting, these are the very things that seem to leave you and let you down the hardest, don't you think so? They are absolutely worthless in bringing comfort or hope.

So what's left?

It is love - authentic, anchored, life-altering love.
It's strong enough to move mountains.
It's gentle enough to wipe the tear from a child's cheek.
It's enduring enough to withstand any crisis.
It's healing enough to mend the most broken heart.
It's faithful enough to stay when everything else has left or been lost.

It is God's love.

God, i knew You would come.

Think about His love

Think about His goodness

Think about His grace

That has brought us through

For as high as the Heavens above

So great is the measure of our Father's love...

Great is the measure of our Father's love...

How could I forget His love

How could I forget His mercy

He satisfies, He satisfies

He satisfies my desire

Great is the measure of our Father's love...

Dispense A Dream 07 - Day 2

Woke up very early because i was sleeping at the corner, right in front of the door. I was awake when the first person went to the toilet, but i was just too lazy to get up. Haha! Oh ya, this is how we brushed teeth...



Toilets - Blackouts were common, and usually water supply was cut during blackout as the pump could not function without electricity. So it was very important that we brought our torch lights :) And the water was very very cold (no heater in village).



Our breakfast - 2nd day


On our 2nd day at Bukkapatna village, we began to tour around the village to familiarize with the surroundings and try to know the villagers.




Outside the clinic


Bus is coming!


Primary school children

The primary school was quite small, and not well furnished. The walls were dirty and old, basically the school only has the basic things, no lights etc. However, i like the pictures painted on the walls :)









More photos on facebook :)

Day One - Dispense A Dream 07

THIS IS THE DAY...

This day was a weird day. I remembered myself feeling incredibly unbelievable and absurd because i was really on my way to India! I have never expected myself to be involved in any expedition project, and the most ridiculous of all is that i am actually going to INDIA!

Me and mindy were the first to arrive at the changi airport. The flight took off at 755am and checking in as a group was really a chore. Was very busy before checking in because i had to distribute the masking tapes and pens around to make sure that all the luggages were properly labeled, and we sealed the boxes a couple of times just to make sure that the boxes would not break when they reached Bangalore. (I was informed that the people at the airport love throwing luggages and boxes). Was quite worried because the baggage as a team might be above the stated limit, but heng~ah.First time being logistic i/s was quite fun, and i am really thankful because every member in my logistic cell is very helpful and nice :D

I did not sit with Mindy on the plane. It's really God's plan, i was arranged to sit with 2 fellas whom i barely talked to before the India trip. But God really did wonders, we turned out to be good friends after 16 days in India :)


From left: Me, Zhi Yuan (he became my secret pal :), Edwin (aka brudder by ME :D )



We didn't talk much, partially owing to the fact that we din know each other well enough, partially also because of me, my mood was heavy then, and i was feeling quite troubled. I prayed a lot during this 4 hour, i prayed that i could see His love in every of my encounters, i prayed that i could heal after this 16 days, and i prayed that i could be a blessing to the people around me in the coming 16 days, and most importantly, i prayed that my heavy heart would not impede me from doing things that i should during my stay in India, nor bringing troubles to my team-mates. As i think back now, I really am thankful because God is a faithful God. He truly guided me along the way, and He made me truly enjoyed my 16 days in India.




Touching down..

We reached Bangalore 4 hours later. And Bangalore is really a very different place --> congested traffic, shoeless pedestrians, people pee-ing at the roadside like no one's business, and the roads are very rocky.


Bangalore - airport


Me and Mindy outside Bangalore airport





Lunch at Tumkur city


At MG road, shopping for pots and pans, and logistics items for the team.


Supermarket


Reaching Bukka Patna village




Villagers waiting for our arrival


The kids liked people taking photos of them.
Favorite question during our stay in the village --> "What is your name?"
"Kuang Kai, what's your name?"
"Ching, what's your name?"
Obviously, they didnt know what it means. Haha.


He kept saying "Singapore delegates and Malaysia delegate... " so -_-


This is where we slept for the past 14 days :)

O Jesus, I Have Promised

O Jesus, I have promised
To serve Thee to the end;
Be Thou forever near me,
My Master and my Friend;
I shall not fear the battle
If Thou art by my side,
Nor wander from the pathway
If Thou wilt be my Guide.

Oh, let me feel Thee near me;
The world is ever near;
I see the sights that dazzle,
The tempting sounds I hear;
My foes are ever near me,
Around me and within;
But, Jesus, draw Thou nearer,
And shield my soul from sin.

Oh, let me hear Thee speaking,
In accents clear and still,
Above the storms of passion,
The murmurs of self-will;
Oh. speak to reassure me,
To hasten, or control;
Oh, speak, and make me listen,
Thou Guardian of my soul.

O Jesus, Thou hast promised
To all who follow Thee
That where Thou art in glory
There shall Thy servant be;
And Jesus, I have promised
To serve Thee to the end;
Oh, give me grace to follow,
My Master and my Friend.

Oh, let me see Thy footmarks,
And in them plant mine own;
My hope to follow duly
Is in Thy strength alone.
Oh, guide me, call me, draw me,
Uphold me to the end;
And then to rest receive me,
My Savior and my Friend.

Paclitaxel

Ok, so what's this Paclitaxel thing?

Paclitaxel is an anti-cancer drug. It is poorly absorbed in the body so most of the times, it will be attached to a transporting pro-moiety to enhance it's absorption and bioavailability, so that it will be able to reach the tumour tissue at a high enough concentration to exert its action.

So how does it work? Basically, cancer simply means the tissue is growing rapidly and in an uncoordinated manner. It does not respond to our body's feedback mechanism (that is "stop signal"), instead, it just goes on multiplying until a lump of tissue becomes apparent and destructive to the body. This Paclitaxel works by inhibiting the multiplication of the tumour tissue. So it prevents the tissue from growing and expanding beyond its boundaries.

So why is it so important to prevent the tissue from multiplying? It is because if a tumour, which is initially benign, multiply to an extent that the tissues become very different from the original one, there is a huge possibility that the benign tumour will transform into a malignant tumour, that is the cancer. And the greatest complication that can arise is that part of the tissue will detach from the original site, carried by the blood and deposit to some other body parts and start to grow again, as a malignant tumour.

So do you think an anti-cancer drug can really treat cancer? As a pharmacist, you'll always be asking your patient to be compliant and to take the drug dutifully. Because you've learnt how the drug works and how it can alleviate the patient's condition. But then, do you know taking anticancer drug is an unbearable experience too? The cytotoxic effect, the adverse effects the drug bring may be more painful that the tumour itself. Your immune system weakens, many infections attack you, you feel nausea, and gastrointestinal disturbances etc.. the side effects go on and on. The patient may even choose to give up.

And do you think it's wrong?

I feel that there's no right and wrong in this case, simply because you're not the patient, and don't even think of saying "i understand how you feel" because you won't. The mere imagining part from your side is far from the reality she is facing too.

Live in Peace

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NIV)

Did you know there is strength in living at peace? That’s why the Lord commands that we live at peace with those around us. When there’s strife and contention, then the enemy has an open door to move in your life. But when we are at peace with those around us, we are in a position of strength.

Being at peace with those around you doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone. It simply means you are walking in love. It means you are patient and kind, not envious, not boastful. It means you are considerate, kind, and gracious because of what the Lord has done in your heart.

Sometimes taking a step backward isn't that bad, because by doing so, you're also trying to extend peace to those around you. And as you do, you’ll live in a position of strength and walk in the daily blessing the Lord has in store for you.

When You Divorce me, Carry me out in your arms.

This is a very touching story, please read it slowly….

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn’t help doing so.

I moved Dew’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month’s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn’t notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.
　　　　　　

Michael Card - God's Own Fool

Seems I've imagined Him all of my life
As the wisest of all of mankind
But if God's Holy wisdom is foolish to men
He must have seemed out of His mind

For even His family said He was mad
And the priests said a demon's to blame
But God in the form of this angry young man
Could not have seemed perfectly sane

Chorus
When we in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
When we in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong
And so we follow God's own fool
For only the foolish can tell-
Believe the unbelievable
And come be a fool as well

So come lose your life for a carpenter's son
For a madman who died for a dream
And you'll have the faith His first followers had
And you'll feel the weight of the beam
So surrender the hunger to say you must know
Have the courage to say I believe
For the power of paradox opens your eyes
And blinds those who say they can see

Chorus

So we follow God's own Fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable,
And come be a fool as well

Michael Card - Sunrise Of Your Smile

Reject the worldly lie that says,
That life lies always up ahead,
Let power go before control becomes a crust around your soul,
Escape the hunger to possess,
And soul-diminishing success,
This world is full of narrow lives,
I pray by grace your smile survives.

For I would wander weary miles,
Would welcome ridicule, my child,
To simply see the sunrise of your smile,
To see the light behind your eyes,
The happy thought that makes you fly,
Yes, I would wander weary miles,
To simply see the sunrise of your smile.

Now close your eyes so you can see,
Your own unfinished memories,
Now open them, for time is brief,
And you'll be blest beyond belief,
Now glance above you at the sky,
There's beauty there to blind the eye,
I ask all this then wait awhile,
To see the dawning of your smile.

讚美之泉 Stream of Praise - 禱告 I Pray

This is one of my favorite christian songs. I really love the lyrics.

祷告 因为我渺小
祷告 因为我知道我需要
有些事我只想对您说 您比任何人都爱我

主耶稣，今天我为您活
我所需要的力量 您天天给我
您的恩典够我用
Your grace is enough for me.

One Step at A Time

Have you ever had many disappointment and unfair things happen in your life? I do. I felt disheartened many times, disappointed many times, and depressed many times. And during those times, i kept telling God that i didnt want to dwell on the past and living undefeated. But each time, when i was about to feel better, something else would make me to fall again. And i think i know what's the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian. A christian feels thrashed and devasted many times, but she will never be hopeless. Because as long as you're in Christ, you know that there's still hope.

You know, one day, i started to take out a piece of paper and i drew a line across it. Solid and straight line. And i told myself, I am a child of the Most High God, and i am not going to live my life negative and defeated. This is a new day, and I am taking back what belongs to me! I did it again and again, because i fell again and again. I know i am silly. But you know what, God is a faithful God. He listened to my prayers.

And then one day, i realized that i was getting better. You know, when you draw closer to God, when you devote more time into prayers and talking to Him, you'll realize that things change. Of course, i didn't get closer to Him hoping He will repay me by doing some miracles and changing the situation from bad to good. I don't know how, but one thing that i am certain of is, God wants to restore everything that's been stolen. He wants to restore my joy, my peace, my health, my finances. I might not have vision for it now, in fact i felt doubtful many times, but however shaky i am feeling, the Lord is firm. If it were not so, i would have lost my way long ago. He changes the situation at times. Sometimes, He also changes my perception. That's how i get my hopes up all this while.

And so i learn to trust, to focus my gaze on the pool of God’s light in the present moment and not on the darkness that still lies ahead. Sis hui jun keeps telling me that hope is in the promise that amid all the confusion and obscurity of our life’s pathway, the next step will be illuminated by God’s love and grace. It’s a promise we can trust. It's a promise that i can trust. God has been faithful all along the journey so far, and he will not fail me in the steps that lie ahead, provided i take them one at a time.

To many people i may still look the same. Defeated. Popular remark in fact. I didnt explain much, cos i know it's just a process. I'm still in a healing process. It's just like after brushing your teeth, you won't wanna eat anything because you don't wanna brush teeth again. It's just like after having a clean shower you wont wanna go jogging or playing in the field again cos you won't wanna get dirty. And it's because i fell before that's why i won't wanna fall again. And because i am healing now that's why i don't want to get more wounds, because many may heal overnight but i still am trying to get healed.

The Faithful God

"God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it." -- 1 Cor 10:13

You know, this is one of my favorite bible verses that i keep reminding myself everyday. This is a very beautiful promise from Him that He will never forsake us, although we might have forgotten Him or ignored Him many times in our lives.

God loves you.
And He loves me too.

My eyes are failing me...

Take My Life

God, please take from me my life

When I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus.

How many times have I turned away?

The number is the same as the sand on the shore,

As many as the stars in the sky.

But everytime You've taken me back.

And now I pray You do it tonight.

It takes TIME

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. Ecclesiastes 3:1

There are no shortcuts to maturity. It takes years for us to grow to adulthood, and it takes a full season for fruit to mature and ripen. The same is true for the fruit of Spirit. The development of Christlike character cannot be rushed. Spiritual growth, like physical growth, takes time.

When you try to ripen fruit quickly, it loses its flavor. While we worry about how fast we grow, God is concerned about how strong we grow. This is because God views our lives from and for eternity, so he is never in a hurry.

The moment you open yourself to Christ, God gets a "beachhead" in your life. You may think you have surrendered all your life to Him, but the truth is, there is a lot to your life that your aren't aware of. You can only give God as much of you as you understand at that moment. That's okay. Once Christ is given a beachhead, He begins the campaign to take over more and more territory until all of your life is completely His. There will be struggles and battles, but the outcome will never be in doubt. God has promised that "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion"

Today, i am obsessed with speed, but God says no, because He is more interested in strength and stability than swiftness. I want the quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution. I want a sermon, or an experience to release me from all growing pains and temptations. But then i soon reliazed that real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving. Growth is gradual.Growth is also often painful and scary.There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain. I fear these losses, because, like a worn out pair of shoes, they were at least comfortable and familiar.

People always build their identity around their defects. We often say "it's just the way I am". The unconscious worry is that if I let go of my habit, my hurt, or my hang-up, who will I be? This fear seems to have definitely slowed down my growth. Sometimes, i just pray that all those problems, habits and hurts will be miraculously removed. But God is never in a hurry. You know, it seems to me that God is preparing me for my role in eternity.

And if you read the bible, you will find that the bible is filled with examples of how God uses a long process to develop character. He took 80 years to prepare Moses, including forty in the wilderness. For so many years Moses kept wondering, "Is it time yet?" But God kept saying "Not Yet".

Great souls are grown through struggles and storms and seasons of suffering. When God wants to make a mushroom, he does it overnight. But when he wants to make a giant oak, he takes a hundred years...

The Plain and Simple Truth

If you've ever told a whopper of a lie, you already know how quickly dishonesty can complicate your life. You had to work extra hard to cover up, remember exactly what you said, maybe even get someone else all tangled up in your deception by asking her to go along with your lie. It's really a mess.

It may be hard to face the consequences of telling the truth, but it sure makes the life a lot simpler when you do. When you owns up to the truth, the clear, uncluttered conscience lets you get on with your life. And you keep your life simple by avoiding the need to cover up for a lie, or to keep your stories straight.

God places a high value on honesty, and he wants his people to do the same. God knows how easily lying can become a habit that destroys His children's integrity and damages their relationships with God and with other people. If you read the bible, you will know that many bible verses and stories about lies and deception reveal how severe the consequences of dishonesty are. They are always more severe than the consequences of telling the truth.

I think God has taught me a good lesson about honesty. You know, when you make it a habit to tell the truth, you simplify your life. You also keep the line of communication open with God. You can approach Him without that nagging sense of guilt that results when you've been dishonest. The same holds true with other people.

Lies tend to create the need for more lies.
That's a complication you don't need.

The Cross

Father, I look at the cross before me
And it looks right back at me.
I ask if it could speak
what would it say to me.
The cross utters not a word
but stands as still as still can be.
So i kneel before the cross
and feel the pain in me.
And then I look at the cross again
It feels the same pain as me.
Then I gaze upon my chest
and see the little cross I wear.
Yet I'd never asked this little cross
if it could speak to me.
I think of all the days that passed
how pious they could be.
And now it's time for me to ask
what will the cross do for me.

Life is unpredictable. And yet life is so precious. When something tragic happens, where do we find the strength to cope with it? To rebuild our lives or even our faith? Really, if you think deeply, God is the only source of strength. Only God can give us the underlying strength to live our lives again as before.

I am such a lousy girl

I think i really am useless. Useless to the extent that the closest people around me think that all i know is to feel unhappy and sad.

One of the F4 female toilet is demolished. Like denyse said, it really is a big problem. The greatest humiliation is that nobody had brought this up to me during my term as F block head. I feel so lousy. Sometimes i really wonder why. Why i was not told during the meeting last time, when they discussed about the renovation.

Denyse was very angry when she found out about this few days back. I think when the rest of F4 residents move back to F4 next week, they will be so angry. I feel really embarrassed.

Denyse wrote a letter to the management:

Dear Dr Seow,

I am writing this as a member of JCRC and as the occupant of F402.

I checked into hall last weekend and i was appalled to see that the toilet next to F401 had been converted into a pantry. To my knowledge, neither the JCRC nor the incoming and outgoing F block heads knew about this plan.

Table 1. illustrates the breakdown of the toilets in F block, as well as the gender and the number of residents each toilet serves.

Toilet Number of Residents
each Toilet Serves
F1 14 Male
F2 a 9 Female
F2 b 10 Female
F3 a 10 Male
F3 b 10 Male
F3 c 11 Male
F4 17 Female
F5 13 Male
Table 1.
* A toilet consists of 3 urinals, 3 shower cubicles, and 4 sinks.


As indicated, the result of the demolition of the toilet for the construction of the pantry has resulted in a whopping 17 residents using the lone toilet in F4. I foresee problems.

Female toilets traditionally cater to lesser residents than male toilets (refer to Table 2), and rightly so. It is well-known that females tend to spend longer times in the bathroom as compared to males. This is especially true for those with long hair. I thus forsee that during the peak shower period (8am-930am), there will potentially be a queue of people waiting to use the shower facilities. This will be a total waste of infrastructure as the F4 toilet will be grossly overutilised whilst the other toilets are underutilised.


Toilet Number of Residents
each Toilet Serves
A3 9 Female
C2 a 10 Female
C2 b 11 Female
E3 7 Female
E6 a 8 Female
E6 b 8 Female
G6 8 Female
F4 17 Female
Table 2.

Other minor problems include the fact that there is not enough room on the flat surface in the toilet to accomodate everyone's toiletry baskets, and the fact that the toilets will have to be cleaned twice as often as there are twice the amount of people utilising the toilets now.

I understand that nothing can be done to reinstall the toilet since the pantry is already constructed. However, i feel that the Block Committee or even the JCRC should have been consulted on whether to build the gigantic pantry, and if applicable, where to build it.

There is no use now crying over spilt milk, and so my suggestion would be to convert 'Toilet F3 b' into a female toilet. It may be slightly inconvenient for F4 residents to go down one flight of stairs to use the facility, but i believe it will go a long way in easing the potential congestion in the lone F4 toilet. The result of converting 'Toilet F3 b' into a female toilet is shown in Table 3.

Toilet Number of Residents
each Toilet Serves
F1 14 Male
F2 a 9 Female
F2 b 10 Female
F3 a 15 Male
F3 b 8 Female
F3 c 16 Male
F4 9 Female
F5 13 Male
Table 3.

The residents in F3 will be affected, having 15 and 16 residents to a toilet instead of 10, 10 and 11. However, i feel the impact on them will be lesser than that on the F4 residents, for reasons as stated above. Executing the change would also involve minimal effort.

Thank you Dr Seow, and I really hope you can bring this matter up to the SCRC if need be.

Warmest Regards,

Denyse De Silva



I am such a lousy girl. I don't wanna move back to hall anymore.

Friends

From left: judy, me, miao juan, jia yuan

This is my NY clique. Actually we were not this close back in NY, but after we left NY, i have been meeting up with them quite regularly, and we got closer and closer.

Sometimes it feels really nice to have friends like them. They came to northpoint after my work and we went for dinner. judy is going to Perth soon to meet her bf, and mj will be going to bangkok to meet yiteng. oh ya, yiteng is doing CIP there, and she was my deskmate!

Jia yuan was my math partner, cos we sat together during our E math and Add math lessons. We were quite competitive then, she is a fervent fans of MAYDAY!

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

What Matters Most

"Love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is this: Live a life of love."
2 John 1:6

Life is all about love. Because God is love, the most important lesson he wants you to learn on earth is how to love. Love is the foundation of every command he has given us and the whole Law can be summed up in this one command: Love others as you love yourself.

Learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centerd nature. God wants us to love everyone, but He is particularly concerned that we learn to love others in his family. And there's a reason why He insist that we give special love and attention to other believers, and that is because God wans his family to be known for its love more than anything else.

God says, love should be our top priority, primary objective, and greatest ambition. Love is not a good part of your life, it's the most important part. The bible says, "Let love be your greatest aim" . It is not enough to say "One of the things i want in life is to be loving," as if it's in your top 10 list. Relationships must have priority in your love above everything else. Why?

Often, we act as if relationships are something to be squeezed into our schedule. We talk about finding time for our children or making time for people in our lives. it gives an impression as if relationships are just a part of our lives along with many other tasks. BUT God says, relationships are what life is all about.

Four of the Ten Commandments deal with our r/s to God while the other six deal with our r/s with ppl. But all ten are about relationships!

Relationships, not achievements or the acquisition of things, are what matters most in life. When our schedules are overloaded, we start skimming relationally, cutting back on giving the time, energy and attention that loving relationships require. What's most important to God is displaced by what;s urgent. Busyness if great enemy of relationships. We become preoccupied with making a living, paying bills, and accomplishing goals as if these tasks are the point of life. They are not. The point of life is learning to love -- God and people. Life minus love equals zero.

Another reason God tells us to make love our top priority is that it is eternal: Love will last forever. "These three things continue forever: faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love"

Love leaves a legacy. How you treated other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth. When life on earth is ending, people don't surround themselves with objects. What we want around us is people -- people we love and have relationships with.

In our final moments,we all realize that relationships are what life is all about.Wisdom is learning that truth sooner rather than later. Don't wait until you're on your deathbed to figure out that nothing matters more.

The 3rd reason to make learning to love the goal of your life is that it is what we will be evaluated on in eternity. In heaven, God won't say "Tell me about your career, your bank account, and your hobbies". Instead, He will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need. When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you're taking with you is your character. That's why the bible says " The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love".

The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you.

Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set of amount of it. You can make more money, but you can't make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That's why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is "T-I-M-E".. the essence of love is not what we think or do to provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. Men, in particular, often don't understand this. Many will say " i don't understand my wife and kids. I provide everything they need. What more could they want?" They want you! your eyes, your ears, your time, your attention, your presence... Nothing can take the place of that.

Whenever you give your time, you re making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love. Jesus modeled this " Be full of love for others, following the example of Christ who loved you and gave Himself to God as a sacrifice to take away your sins."
You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Love means giving up -- yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else.

Circumstances change. People die, Children grow up. You have no guarantee of tomorrow. Knowing that one day you will stand before God, here are some qns that should be considered: How will you explain those times when projects or things were more important to you than people? Who do you need to start spending more time with? What do you need to cut out of your schedule to make that possible?

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.

Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease

Today a parent brought his terribly ill baby to the pharmacy.

This baby is so poor thing, she has HFMD.

Hand, Foot and Mouth disease is a common illness of infants and children. It is characterized by fever, sores in the mouth, and a rash with blisters. It usually begins with a mild fever, poor appetite, malaise ("feeling sick"), and frequently a sore throat. One or 2 days after the fever begins, painful sores develop in the mouth. They begin as small red spots that blister and then often become ulcers. They are usually located on the tongue, gums, and inside of the cheeks. The skin rash develops over 1 to 2 days with flat or raised red spots, some with blisters. The rash does not itch, and it is usually located on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet. It may also appear on the buttocks. A person with HFMD may have only the rash or the mouth ulcers.

The most common cause is coxsackievirus A16, while HFMD is not deadly, it is moderately contagious. Infection is spread from person to person by direct contact with nose and throat discharges, saliva, fluid from blisters, or the stool of infected persons. A person is most contagious during the first week of the illness. Normally babies/ children contract it in childcare centres, due to poorer hygiene habits of kids.

So this baby is really very poor thing. A baby with HFMD will experience great pain because they will experience high fever, and the sores in her mouth has made her lost her appetite for food and water. Drinking simple fluid like water will cause great pain. Drinking milk hurts, eating cereals hurts, everything hurts.

So we recommended pedialyte. Pedialyte is an ORS (oral rehydration salt), normally we take it if we have many episodes of diarrhea, in order to replenish the lost fluid. It contains the necessary salts and glucose to sustain our body. So we asked the parent to buy the Pedialyte freezer pops for the baby, it may help to numb the pain in her mouth when sucking the frizzy pedialyte.

Today i saw a lot of babies and toddlers in my pharmacy. You know, they are soo cute :D

How We GROW

God wants us to grow up.

Imagine riding in a speedboat on a lake with an automatic pilot set to go east. If you decide to reverse and head west, you have 2 possible ways to change the boat's directions:
1. Grab the steering wheel and physically force it to head in the opp direction
from where the autopilot is programmed to go.
2. By sheer willpower you could overcome the autopilot, but you would feel constant
resistance. Your arms would eventually tire of the stress, you would let go of
the steering wheel, and the boat would instantly head back east, the way it was
internally programmed.

The 2nd is what happens when one tries to change her life with willpower. I often say " I will force myself to eat less... exercise more, eat my medicine, monitor the health of my heart..." Yes willpower can produce short-term change, but it creates internal stress because the root cause is not dealt with. The change doesn't come naturally, so i eventually give up, and revert to my old patterns, which only make the conditions worse.

I guess changing the autopilot -- the way you think, is a better and easier way. You know, the first step in spiritual growth is to start changing the way you think. Change always starts first in your spirit and mind. The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel influences the way you think. The Bible says, "Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think"

Your heavenly Father's goal is for you to mature and develop the characteristic of Jesus Christ. Sadly, millions of Christians grow older but never grow up. They are stuck in perpetual spiritual infancy, remaining in diapers and booties. The reason is that they never intended to grow.

Spiritual growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing.

Nothing shapes your life more than the commitments you choose to make. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you. It is at this point of commitment that most ppl miss God's purpose for their lives. Many are afraid to commit to anything. Some make half-hearted commitments to competing values. Others make full commitment to worldly goals such as becoming wealthy or successful. Every choice has eternal consequences, we become whatever we are committed to.

The Christian life is far more than creeds and convictions, it includes conduct and character. Our deeds must be consistent with our creeds, and our beliefs must be backed up with Christlike behavior.

We are commanded to "think the same way that Christ Jesus thought". In order to do this, we must stop thinking immature thoughts, which are self-centered and self-seeking. "Stop thinking like children" the bible says. Babies by nature are completely selfish. They think only of themselves and their own needs. They are incapable of giving, they can only receive. This is immature thinking, and many never grow beyond that kind of thinking. God reminds us every now and then that it is the source of sinful behavior.

It is never too late to start growing.

A NiCe PoEm

Here's a meaningful poem i would like to share with u, this is from Kelly, my bro's gf:

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone to have a deep soul relationship with another to be loved thoroughly and exculsively.

But to a Christian, God says.

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone-

with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me-

with having an intensely personal relationship with Me alone-

will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-

exculsive of anyone or anything else, exculsive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing

and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-

one that you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best.

PLease allow Me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things....

Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.

Keep listening and learning those things that I tell you,

You just wait.

That's all.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry.

Don't look around at the things others have gotten or the things I have given them.

Don't look at the things you think you want.

You just keep looking to Me, or you'll miss what i want to show you.

And then, when you are ready,

I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and

until this one i have for you is ready

( I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time.....)

until you are both satisfied exculsively with Me, and the

life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience

that love that exemplifies your relationship with Me.

Which is the PERFECT ONE.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.

I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your

relationship with ME

and enjoy materially and concretely-

the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love.

KNow that I love you utterly.

I AM GOD.

Believe it and be satisfied.



Amen!

The triangle

This is my retina. Nice or not? Hee.. you know what's retina? It contains millions of photoreceptors that capture light rays and convert them into electrical impulses. These impulses travel along the optic nerve to the brain where they are turned into images.

Yep so this is my retina. See the protruding vessels? This is an overstretched retina. You know, if your myopia increases, ur retina will stretch even more and it may break one day, if there's an impact right into your eyes, head, or if ur myopia just increases so rapidly.

If your short sightedness is above 600, you should take very good care of your eyes. The higher it is, the more likely you are prone to get eye-contracting blinding disease. And it is important to get a yearly eye-examination to check the condition of your retina. sometimes, the retina is a lil overstretched and it tears, or a hole appears, you must seek treatment immediately before your retina is completely torn apart. You could get a simple eye surgery and by using the laser to seal the hole, your retina will be safe, for awhile.

Oh ya, i happen to have floaters in my eyes at this very young age -_- but no worries, i will be fine. Oh ya, i really dislike this eye drop that they applied on my eyes. the stinging sensation and after that i just couldnt open my eyes, then your eyes will be enlarged for them to examine, and do everything. And it blurs the vision!

Anemia and Iron pills.

Hypotension.

Mindy, i asked abt jogging, but i was advised not to jog -_- we shall do brisk walking huh? hee. No rugby, better not to study.. hee, how am i supposed to fill these empty slots ne?

What have i been doing these days? I think these 3 things ba:

Physical healing

Psychological healing

Spiritual healing

I will be ok de. :)

Childhood

Do you know what i enjoyed most when i was a kindergarten teacher? I enjoyed reading story books with the kids. They enjoyed reading children stories and telling me the stories they have learned, while i enjoyed reading stories with them because i have never read those stories before.

I think i must have been a weird child. I don't know stories like Ali Baba and Aladdin.. I don't know the 40 thieves appeared in the Ali Baba story or in the Aladdin's. I don't know why Alice will appear in the wonderland and what she sees there too. But i know i keep reading some same old stories again and again when i was in primary school. I liked reading fairy tales like Cinderella, Snow white & the 7 dwarfs, stars rain down... you know, when i was in primary school, i would borrow the same old story book from the library every year, and i don't know why i just didnt feel bored reading them again and again.

Then you will start dreaming abt one day ur prince will come and u will live happily ever after. i always portrayed myself as a cinderella then cos in the story, she was always bullied by the step sisters. While i don't have any step sisters, i do have a brother that loves to bully me. How childish i was last time hee..

Do you know what was so silly abt me? gee... i've never told anyone though -_- after reading the story abt the sleeping beauty, my imagination became wilder. when nobody was ard, i would pretend as if i was really the sleeping beauty and lying on the bed dead asleep. then, dunno by what means, my hands would push the teddy bear beside me such that its little lips touched mine. oh ya, i imagined it as my prince charming :P after my prince kissed on my lips, i would wake up immediately and lived happily ever after. so lame -_-

i dunno why would i mention these suddenly. perhaps it's because of staying few hours in the kindergarten today. i saw those children story books on the shelf and became very engrossed in reading them today. then memories jus came back.

And i didnt know abt care bear too. but now that i know abt them, i've started to love them :) next time when my sister have babies, i will read them the stories of care bears. i think these stories are nicer than those Ali Baba and Aladdin ones. i have a wilder thought too. next time when mindy, pc, ger, jan, agnes, han wen, zhang chi have children, i will give each of them a care bear costume :P hee then i can make them wear the costumes and take photo! so cute :D

i really like care bear :)

This is the 5th time. My vision turned dark suddenly, followed by headache at the back of my head. Thank God i am still alright :)

I think my house is really big. Everyone else is busy with their own stuff except me. I want to get busy to get my stuff done but I couldn’t. I don’t like to stay alone in this house.

Mindy, this is it:

Life

What is your life?

The bible offers 3 metaphors that teach us God's view of life:

Life is a test
Life is a trust
Life is a temporary assignment

We are always being tested. Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. Some of the tests are overwhelming, at least i am overwhelmed. I have been telling myself that God's grace is just enough, He will not allow me to be tested beyond my power to remain firm, and He will give me enough strength to endure it when i am tested. Perhaps i am religious to many people, but my life is incomplete without God, and i am not afraid to admit that i am weak and i need Him.

Jesus said, " From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." Life is a test and a trust, the more God gives you, the more responsible He expects you to be.

Have you ever wondered what has happened to you lately that you now realize was a test from God? I feel that i am going through many tests and trials lately. Sometimes i really feel like giving up. But every night i go to bed telling myself to give up, i wake up the next morning finding myself in renewed strength to endure and hang on there.

Sometimes i really hope to see how many marks will God give me for the tests that i am going through. Sometimes i really want to see Him face to face and ask Him to bring me home.

TRITON

My parents love this car! Went to a couple of car exhibitions with them and my dad really yearns to have this car so that he can go camping with my mom and friends. My uncle has this car and he always brings my parents to the national jungle for camping :)

Maybe next time i can get them such a car hee :)

I shouldn't have chosen Guardian for my preceptorship.
The David Woo really knows how to torture us.
Assignment and evaluation and reports.He is so cute man!
Gosh, i really don't feel like studying man!
Of all the things i have learnt in pharmacy practice, the only thing i can remember is the topic on flatulence. -_-

Bought some clothes for my attachment. 300 bucks -_-
And i bought a pair of shoes from the clarks. 250 bucks -_-
And i used my dad's money -_-

Few days ago my mother saw a snake near the kitchen.
Few years back, there was a small river behind my house and there was really a lot of snakes. But there was no more snake after the construction and stuff like that.Why suddenly got snake de?

My mother was quite scared. Me too. :(

I went to my sister's new house today. She's getting married this September, and they bought a condo. A lot of renovation is going on and a lot of cleaning to be done too. Yep, and i am her standby maid!

But i really like their house, or rather, their future home. It is very colorful.Each bedroom has a different color. The master bedroom is purplish. They also have a room where a piano can be placed and my sister will conduct her piano lessons there. That room is beige in color. And their future baby room is blue in color :) i like that room a lot, and i promise my sister that i will make the room pinkish blue in future, cos i think baby like pink :) like me!

After that i went to visit my future brother-in-law. Just a month ago, he fell off from the lorry and broken his leg. The doctor said it takes at least 3 months to recover. Yep, so now he is not able to walk, work and drive. I hope he can recover fast, because i know that my sister is very worried :P

My sister asked me today if she will be xing fu. I said yes, because i know that God will bless their marriage, and i told her that she has a good husband who is faithful, understanding, hardworking and loving, and that's all that matter.

Now i have to start making wedding corsage for her. I think it'll be great if Mindy and PC are here, because they can help me to do all these art stuff. hee. I miss them so much.

I'm cutting my hair tomorrow. And i'm gonna learn driving again for the next few days, so that i will be more confident in driving. It feels really awful, because i tried so hard to keep myself occupied and distracted, but they don't make me feel better.

Home

Today is my 2nd day at home. I promised myself one thing before i came home, that is i must not let my parents know how unhappy i have been lately.

My mom came and picked me up yesterday. I really felt like crying when i saw her, because there're too many things bothering me lately, just too many things that i find myself speechless when i am asked "what happened?" But i smiled at my mom when i saw here. Because i really was glad to see my mom, and i really wanted to go home. You know, whenever I feel so weak and troubled by many unhappy stuff, i really want to go home, and i often pray that i could wake up in the Heaven the next day.

Today, my sister showed me the ring that her future husband gave her. it's a simple ring, and the diamond is so small too. I heard her complaining, but i only smiled at her because i knew that she was actually very happy when he proposed! yes he is not rich enough to buy her a big diamond ring, but wad's more important than his pure and sincere heart of wanting to spend the rest of his life together with my sister? I really am glad for her because she has found the one whom she is willing to spend the rest of her life with.

God, will i ever find one too?

James

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

I like the book of James because it is full of God's covenants.How often do you read the bible? I don't read it often. But i read the bible story book. And something i love about this bible story book is its first page, it says, "Jesus loves me, this i know. For the bible tells me so."

Fall

I do not know how to take all these that are happening to me without You. Things just come so suddenly that sometimes i find myself so helpless Lord. Many times, i pleaded in front of you Lord, i asked "Why do all these have to happen to me?"

God, i know all these must have been from You. God, i don't know what is Your plan for hooi ching, but there is one thing that i need to know, that is i have to trust you Lord.

I was told that the eye examination will only last for 20minutes. But it lasted for almost an hour. She sees something wrong in my eyes, and probed further, and examined further.

She took the images of the back of my eyes and i could never forget her expression as she looked into the screen and found out that something seems to be going wrong in my eye.

God, if it weren't You, i know i would not be able to stay calm for what is coming.
God, i really am afraid then.
She stared at the image of the back of my eye for quite some time and finally asked me if i am working.
I said no.I am still studying.
She asked, "Do you have any medical subsidies or coverage?"

My heart stopped beating for a moment. I asked myself, "Why? Why do all these things have to happen at the lowest trough of my life? Why must they come so suddenly? I'm caught unprepared Lord."

God, she said that there is something in my eyes that is normally unseen in normal people. Lord, she said she will discuss with the eye specialist she is working with and get back to me.

God, i am shocked. I don't know how should i react to many things that are happening to me.

God, i feel so weak, yet i know that You are still holding my hands.

God, i feel really sad. But i trust You Lord. I know You are still taking care of me.

God, my dad said he wants to stop working after this June. he is tired. Will i make my father more tired? Will he have to continue working because of me?

God, teach me what to do.
I feel so defeated.
I know i can rely on You Lord.
Help me God.
I feel that i cannot stand up again by myself.

God, i don't want words from humans.
I want to hear from You only.
Lord, if these are not from You, please take them away from me.
If these are from You Lord, please make me strong and draw me closer to You.

Healing

I want to make myself better.

Hee i have a baby face. I was just thinking, even if i put on the white pharmacist coat during my attachment period, how many people will see me as a pharmacist. Hee, i think i look young, too young that people find it unbelievable that i am actually a trainee pharmacist. Hee..

I was just shopping around for some clothes and shoes for my attachment. I wonder what suits me. I want to look young, and professional, because pharmacy is a profession. Somehow i feel quite excited whenever i imagine how i will look in the white coat. I need some time to polish myself up. I need to buy suitable clothes. I think i look good when i dress up, and when i make an effort to look good. I must look good and confident during the attachment :) Hee, wish i have more money.

I went to see the doctor to get some prescription medicine for my face. I think i should do something to my face. It looks fine, with ocassional acne outbreak. But i feel that i can make it better, and i want to make it better because i want to put some light makeup during attachment since it's in a retail setting.

today, i also solved one problem that is troubling my body for very very long time. And i was right. I hope it can be healed.

I want to be healed.
I want to heal myself, and i know God is healing me, in many ways.
I know i will get there eventually.

A Pure heart

I feel that i have a pure heart that longs to follow God
I feel that God has made my heart whiter than the snow

You know what? i really think i am a simple and pure girl, and i think that makes me unique and beautiful in the eyes of a lot of people.

I have a heart that yearns for God's words, a heart that wants to grow stronger in Christ.
I have a heart that always leads me into doing the things that i think it is right, eventhough it might seem silly.
I have a heart that longs to make my friends happy , because they told me that they love to see me smile.
I have a heart that longs to love my parents, not only because it is God's first commandment that we have to honour our parents, but also because their love is unconditional, and my parents have sacrificed so much because they love us.
I have a heart that tells me that i want to be in health care to save people, and now i am finally on the way to accomplish this dream of mine. You know, i have been thinking about this ever since i was in primary 1.
I have a heart that is so pure that sometimes i will take things in the less complicated way, and view things in the simplest manner. Some laughed at me for being so simple-minded, but that makes them happy and i guess that's enough.

And i have a heart that is undivided and pure when i love a man whom i really want to be with, even though i am being hurt by the words and empty promises many times, but seeing the smiles and silly laughters on his face, the memories that we have shared, make the hurt worthwhile.

Someone tells me that i should be more focussed on going after my ambitions and goals.

I am.

Not that i am not pursuing my dream, it's just that you don't know what are they.
I do not want loads of money in my life, because i know i will always have enough. My dream can only accomplished when i really become a pharmacist. My dream is to be a good pharmacist and help as many people as i could, through my profession and through God. My goal is to live a meaningful life that the people ard me will feel loved and cared for.I just want to be genuine to myself, and others. I do not want to earn big bucks and drive big car.Cos that's not important to me at all.

I am working hard towards these goals, these are simple goals i know, but they could be hard to attain. But i will work towards them. I am getting closer to my family, the friends ard me, and i know my pharmacy stuff well. Most importantly i still serve my Lord well and i rely on Him,not myself. I know i will work in a hospital in future, and by then i can deal with many people, interact with many patients.And i really am looking forward to it, cos i will be happier. One day, if an epidermic break out, if a disease is beyond control, i know i will be one of the person staying behind the locked hospital doing the best i could to save the patients.

That day the lecturer said, if there's another SARS-like disease break out,and nobody knows how to cure it, the hospital has to be locked up and the healthcare members have to choose to stay or leave. i think i will stay. I may die, but i think if this is the last chapter of my story, it is indeed a happy ending. because when i meet Jesus in heaven, i will tell Him that i have completed this journey, and it has been a beautiful journey.

That's why i put my blog name as "purity". And i choose a white template. I simply love them. Hooi ching really does not want to be a complicated girl, let me stay as pure as i can be.

New blog

Many asked me why a new blog. Hee i'm sorry, i couldn't access my old blog and i want to keep writing, so that people who care abt me can still receive some updates from me. Yep, so from now on, this is my new blog. :)

A new Beginning

It's the end of a semester again.

So much had happened in just a couple of months. Taking 5 core modules were really stressful, and the projects, lab reports, tutorials that came with these modules really made me very tired. You know what's the most tiring of all? It's working hard on the things that you really want to do well but the results you gained from all your efforts were disheartening.

Perhaps i have been very focused on my studies throughout the semester, that when it came to the exam period, i realised my battery was running very low. Perhaps it's the fear of 2 killer papers on the same day that took my confidence away. I know i have been studying well and revising quite a couple of times, but the state which one is in when taking an exam really makes a great deal of difference.

I realised that i have so much fears within me. I fear that i will lose the things that i cherish a lot, reason being i cherished it too much..

Many times i really wish to return to the past. Because it was then that there were no worries, no conflicts, no harshness of reality. But lately i have realised that many times, one has to choose to face the harshness of reality and grow up from it, because there are just too many responsibilities that one has to take up. Recently, God is telling me a lot of things. He said, "Hc must grow up".

I really want to grow up, so that the ppl who care for me will be happier because of me. I really hope i have the time. Have you ever thought before that life is like a storybook? It is an interesting story book because you will never know what is the ending. You only know that in each chapter there are ups and downs, happiness and sadness, but all these made your life interesting. And for each fall that you have, there will always be a lesson that you can learn, and apply to your future chapters of life. Although you don't know what the ending is, you know who is controlling this story, and that person is God.

And because i know that God loves me enough that He will guide me through each chapter of my life, i know that the ending will be good, for it's in His hands.