issumagijoujungnainermik

Today i was reading about the story of David as i was making my way to giving tuition.

David. The bible talks so much about him.
So many lessons one can learn from the life of David.
I happened to be on this chapter - David and Saul - Both are God's children and things just turned bad between them. David was fleeing because the king Saul wanted to kill him. David went into deserts, caves, Saul just kept chasing after.
Saul was hunting David.


One day, Saul was being captured off guard by David's soldiers and they were overwhelmed with excitement because if Saul is dead, they can return to their homeland and live happily ever after, together with their leader, David.
But David let him go. He spares Saul's life, despite the many pain and sufferings Saul had imposed on him, and his people.
He knows that justice is in God's hands.
Simple story, yet it has so much to tell.

How do you normally treat people who gave you grief?
It's one thing to give grace to friends, but to give grace to those who give us grief?
Could you?

Perhaps you could. Some people seem graced with mercy glands. They secrete forgiveness, never harboring grudges or reciting their hurts.

Others, (most of us?) find it hard to forgive our Sauls.
We forgive the one-time offenders, mind you.
The parking-place takers, data breakers, purse snatches - it's okay.
But... the repeat offenders?
The Saul who take our youth, retirement, precious times, feelings, or health?
Could you forgive the one who hurt you?

It is just so hard, isn't it?
However .. score-settling freezes your stare at cruel events in your past.
And you question yourself - is it where you want to look?
Will rehearsing and reliving your hurts make you a better person?
By no means. It will destroy you.
An eye for an eye? Then when does it stop?

I think it stops when one person imitates David.
It stops when you're being reminded that the Lord must be the judge, He will decide.
No one has a clearer sense of right and wrong than Him.

Leave your enemies in God's hands.
You're not endorsing their misbehavior when you do.
You can hate what someone did without letting hatred consume you.
Forgiveness is not excusing.
Nor is forgiveness pretending.
It is, at its core, choosing to see your offender with different eyes.
To forgive is to move on, and not to think about the offense anymore.

We, like Saul, have been given grace.
We, like David, can freely give it.



'Guess what's the native language for forgiveness among the Eskimos?
It's a 24-word letter choice: issumagijoujungnainermik. "

One more week then it'll be study week then exam week.

Time flies. Sometimes you don't even know what you have been doing all this while. All you know is that you're trying your best to survive the day, day by day.

Another week is going to come to an end.
I feel so tired. So lost. So emotionless. So helpless.
I hope that solutions can emerge soon.
I hope things can get better.
I hope that there'll be sunshine in my life and i can see the sunshine.
I hope to see God's grace in my life, and not to be blinded by so many things.
I hope that the people dearest to me will smile again, cos dark clouds have been surrounding us.
I hope things change, for the better.

Gosh, i'm so drained.

The Duke Dream

I had biotech test today, and it was quite bad. But i really tried hard. Really hard. I think what ever the result might be, i will be satisfied.

Had a big box of donuts from the Donut Factory hanging at my door when i got back. The truth is, i've never bought a box of 12 donuts before in my entire life so far thus i was quite shocked. So my lunch, dinner this weekend gonna be donuts haha. Thanks anyway.

Supposedly, i would have 2 more hours before test to do a quick revision. But coincidentally, the DUKE-NUS Medical school was holding the admission seminar during that 2 hours break and i have always wanted to know more about this graduate school. Had the notes in front of me throughout the 2 hours, but my ears were very glued to what the speaker was talking about.

I love the Duke University i saw from the presentation.

It means that i have to do an additional 4 year course to get my Medical Degree. I strongly believe that a synergistic collaboration of medical and pharmacological knowledge can do great wonders to patient, and to the health care profession. In Singapore, the pharmacists were given insufficient rights when it comes to drug therapy because sometimes doctors are too comfortable with their own "regimen style" and it hurts their feelings if the pharmacists let them know that there's better dosage and better drug that can give greater benefits to the patient and less toil on the patients in terms of money and time than what they prescibe. Sometimes, if you were the one to diagnose and carve out a drug regimen for your patient, it would be much easier and efficient.

So now it boils down to one question.
Trust Your Gut Or No?

Thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon

It's wednesday!
You know, wednesday is my favorite day of the week. It's only on wednesday that i do not have lessons till 6pm. That's one reason. Another reason is, wednesday is a day which i feel most freedom. I can do what i like after 12pm, walk ard at the bazaar and stare at those nice little accessories with mindy, have a slow lunch (although i am very used to finishing up my food within 5 mins), meeting up with possible people that i want to meet, and lastly, going church for my cell group to be reminded of God's words once again.

Today Ms Usa asked a very thought-provoking question, at least to me. She asked us:

What are the significant values which you uphold in your life.

And if these values are changing all the time.

Frankly speaking, i'm not a high achiever. However, i'm thankful that God has been blessing me with wonderful results and personal development all these years. I think i am a person who doesn't lack the essentials. I can work hard if i want to, and if i work hard i can get what i wish for, and perhaps with bonus. At this point, you might be thinking that i'm such a proud person ya? i think i am proud, yea. When i think things will turn bad, somehow, in His own ways, or many other ways, He will make things right for me. He will make sure my incompleteness is made complete in Him. It's when you see how small you are, how vulnerable and weak you are, that you will be able to see how mightly and incredible this God is.

Back to the values i will uphold in my life.

I think i only have two that made to the top of the list. And my list isn't that long, it has only 2 items too :) Yeah, family and faith. Nothing is more important that my family, that includes every person whom i love. Faith, definitely. Because without this faith that i'm holding onto, i would have disappeared from this world long time ago. Thankfully, i am able to hold them closer to my heart as time goes by, and i hope they will always be my core treasures to the end of my life on this earth.

Yesterday i spent quite a lot of money buying art and craft things. I was so intrigued by the materials on the stalls, the handmade scrapbook, the cards etc... And suddenly i was being reminded of my artbox that i had horribly deserted for quite some time. Truthfully, i like to make nice stuff, and give nice stuff to people that i care for. However, i lack one fundamental element that an art and craft lover should possess -- patience. (Mindy and pc are so gonna say yes and jump up when i say this). Somehow, i'm made realized that i can make this an interest and a skill that i can keep with me forever. Long time ago, my nicely-made cards were rewarded with smiles and encouragement from my loved ones. This is so gonna be my motivation and inspiration to continue developing a passion in this area. I really want to attend the workshop Mindy!!!!!

Another nice thing that i came across yesterday was when i was taking a bus ride to IMM. I saw a mom holding her 3 year old son in her arms in this heavily congested bus. The boy was not feeling well, he was having motion sickness and the after-effects i surmised. I saw a luggage beside them...ah perhaps they jus returned from a trip. I was particularly attracted to the loving tender care that the mother showered on the boy. He was feeling really awful. He kept crying and telling mommy that he felt awful. And on and off, he felt like throwing out, and the mom would quickly take a plastic bag from her bag so that the boy won't dirty the bus. No sign of irritation and impatience from the mom. I could only see love brimming from her eyes and radiating from her actions. She hugged the boy, comforted him, patting him, and telling her son that mommy is here, it's okay. I was just so absorbed to this scene. Jingkai, if you were here, i'm so gonna make you capture this scene with your superawesome camera. That's LOVE.

What's love? I ask myself many times. I think the only way you know that one loves you is when the person is meticulous about everything evolving around you. Like the mother and the son, the mom knows what the son needs. Like God and us, He knows what we need. During the entire bus ride, the mom and the boy made me reflect a lot about our relationships with God. Many times, i cried in front of Him, asking Him why do i have to suffer this much when others do not need, why is it that the problem was a long time history and yet i am still suffering the after-effect. (You know, after the kid vomitted, he felt fatigue and giddy, the after effects persisted for a long time). However, like the mom and the son, despite all the ranting and crying, God's hands are still around me, carrying me... He is always here with me. Well, i'm not a good writer, but i love the love shown to me.

Went running last night. Amazing. I really enjoyed spending time with min and pc.
Hopefully i can go running more often.