Updates :)

A little updates on what I'm doing these days.

I am in surgical wards these days. These wards mainly look after patients undergoing surgeries. To be honest, I have never seen so many gory images until these weeks. I have seen how blood oozing profusely out of the wound sites, pus, stoma etc... Because in this particular ward, you will come across many amputations. Many gangrenous foot - mainly diabetic foot, which have progressed until the point of no return and the only way to save the patient is to cut away the limb. So you have any friends/ family members who are diabetics, please ask them to be obedient to their medicines and diet - for the complications diabetes can bring are too much - it's beyond what a family can bear at times. If you have foot ulcer - seek treatment immediately, because if you don't, bacteria will colonize and as time goes by, you can no longer retain that part of your body.

Yea, so the most common things I came across lately will be diabetic foot, amputations, fractures, and many more. I must say, learning curve is steep, yet I am loving it because things are starting to piece together and I have many people who are willing to teach me :)

Another big blessing that God has bestowed upon me lately is Mayi - she has officially joined me in this project and having someone to share the load really make things so much more breathable. Really hope that this project will work out well - and I know it will. Mayi, if you're reading this, I just want to say thank you for being my partner and doing this together with me. :)

Me and my siblings went for a fabulous dinner last wednesday. There's this Japanese BBQ restaurant in CHIJMES - Gyu-Kaku! It's really nice. It is quite expensive but the food is really good - we ordered the beef that's imported from Japan instead of Australia and it's AWESOME!! Love the mushroom, the meat, the vege, the kimchi soup, the beer and the wine! Beef with wine is perfect combination I must say :) Although I was a little giddy after 2 glasses of red wine and some beer, I really enjoyed my night with my siblings. My brother got me a GUCCI RUSH perfume - aren't you surprised? :) My sister got me a hair clip and a tumbler because she sees me binging on caffeine and I lost one sometime this year. How thoughtful! :)

Yesterday

This is one of my favorite songs lately. Been listening to it over and over again. Would like to share it here :)

Hey, if you're reading this - just wanted to let you know that I am well. God has been faithful to me, He never let me bear more than I could. Though I am still in a process, I am fine. When I am weak, I am never weak in others' eyes because He strengthens me. My greatest consolation is that I can keep on living like this because He loves me.

And today, as I sat down in prayer, I think about you again. So once again, I put you into His hands and I wish you're having christmas in your heart every day :)

Merry Christmas :)

It's Christmas again. Soon it'll be 2010. When I was in primary school, my teacher taught me how to write dates on all our exercises. I remembered writing 1993. I was then thinking "Wah, when will I hit 2000?" It is just funny that when I were a kid I didn't think I will grow up so quickly. And now I'm a grown-up, yet I feel like writing 1993 again.

Time flies. And sometimes I don't even feel it passes me.

I feel like I have been through a lot this whole year. There's this huge force trying to destroy me completely this whole year. Everything about me, within me, are targeted in every way. I feel destroyed many times too. Crushed is the word. Yet this force is still there. Because the work has yet to be done.

Sometimes, it's not that you want to be blessed, it's just that somehow, you're forced to receive that blessing.

Just beyond words could tell.

You're my All in ALL

I thank God

for putting many nice friends beside me

Such that when the goings get tough

We will cheer each other on

When there are mountains of things to do

We will do them all together

When we are all dead tired

We will just fall asleep even when sitting, together.

Sometimes it's hard to deny

Despite the many challenges

God still give me enough grace to pull through

Despite the many worries

God is still the God who holds my tomorrow

Sometimes

I just feel very glad

That no matter how I have been today, what had happened today

My future will still be good

Just because I have God in my life

My All in All..

Is there a way out?

Why can't I do the things that I love, and don't do the things I don't like?

Is it just me being oversensitive or paranoid?

Why do I feel that God You always arrange me such that I will be dwelling the seemingly difficult task?

I feel that I am losing myself.

I no longer see myself, God. :(

I find myself numbed, painless, and ugly.

God, is there a way out?

I don't like myself.

God, please take away my life, when I don't have strength to give it all to you.

Season of Food :)

I need a recipe for christmas turkey and ham.

And I need the secret of making the pot-pie.

Aw... and I need an oven too.

Suddenly feel like making cottage pie too :)

God, I wish to immerse myself in this baking and cooking atmosphere this month! :)

Random thoughts.. again

Hello world, greetings from the airport! :)

Today, I have some encounters in the wards. Perhaps it's accumulative, and today happened to be the peak.

I think I like patient care.

Few days back, there was this 67 years old uncle got transferred to my ward. You wouldn't miss him. He's just so prominent. I find him very adorable in fact. He is severely obese, always in a drowsy state, and fall asleep easily even when sitting at the TV room.

And then i took a look at his IMR.

TB meds. Empiric treatment.

On warfarin, admist tonnes of other meds.


Sigh. He weighed 96 kg.


Reason I used "weighed" past tense is because he lost 5 kg over a span of 3-4 days. My anticoagulation pharmacist oversaw this uncle for his warfarin. It was through him that I learnt many valuable lessons. Lessons about managing multiple complicated drugs on a single patient who has so so many co-morbidities. Lessons about treating patient is just not about seeing the recommeneded numbers but really, to treat the patient rather than the numbers. And also, he reminded me of my dad.


Uncle is to continue 6 months of anti-TB meds, on top of his 9 other existing meds.


Typical anti-TB meds - 5 drugs - and because of his size, the max of all are used. Uncle has to eat 13 tablets of anti-TB meds half an hour before food. After food, eat his other meds (around another 10-13 tabs). Can you imagine such a pill burden on such an uncle.



Sometimes we always ask patients to be compliant to meds. We know every reason why they should be compliant, and we know it's for their own good. Yet, when you put yourself into their shoes, if you were them, could you even imagine youself taking 26-30 tablets a day. And they are at least of panadol size.


Yet, this uncle is so adorable. I felt like giving him a hug when I dispensed at bedside just now.


Uncle spoke Hokkien. But I can only speak 90% teochew 10% hokkien. Yet he understands.


He really has all of my heart - because through interactions with him, i know that he will be compliant. He's illiterate yet he will adhere to the numbers written on the drug labels. Everytime when I pat on his back, he will nod his head and signals me that he appreciates. Uncle cannot read, yet he knows some meds are for diabetes, some are for hypertension, and new ones are for TB. He even knows that rifampicin causes orangle discoloration of his urine and sweats because he noticed it during his stay in the hospital. Do you know how encounraging it is to find out that your patient actually take charge of his own health and know what's happening to himself, and to embrace the reality with courage?

Pardon me for the incoherent thoughts. Just suddenly have too much gushing through my brain. I am so gonna have a brain infarct.

Today, there's this good son whom I encountered that took all of my heart too. His father was warded for breakthrough seizures, and other diseases included dementia with behavioral disorders. Because of his illness, this malay uncle looked very irritable, and sometimes he will stick out his tongue to you. He is just so flustered, yet demented. He's like a kid most times.

And his son came to bring him home upon discharge. This son is a 30 years old obese man who's sweating very heavily because it's very warm in the ward. Yet the love and care he showers on his dad really touches me. He is a full time caregiver because of his dad. Unlike other people who don't care what the meds are for, he carefully tells me what are the meds and how he has been serving his dad the meds and these and that.

All these things meant a lot to me. They showed me that there are many people out there worth every of your time and effort.

Admist many nasty people, there will always be people out there who appreciates you. And I soon realize that what God said to me is true - Giving is always better than receiving.