Moving. Again.

I have a lot to update in this post.

I have moved to my sister, and my current status= squatters. Zee and brudder came down to help me in moving, and i really must thank them tremendously for being my coolies. I couldn't imagine myself moving 16+ boxes and miscellaneous luggage all by myself. I really appreciate the friendship they extend to me, it warms my heart, and for the first time after so long, i feel a glimpse of non-loneliness.

You guys must be wondering how on earth can hooi ching squeeze so many things in her tiny room. Madness. The room is not even bigger than yours, but the things there are 2x/3x what you can find in ur room. Let me tell you.

I like to keep stuff. The small little post-its you gave me 2 years back i still am keeping them in my treasure box. The small little gift someone gave me 8 years back i still have it with me. The many photos that i took with ester, steph and meiwen.. they are still there. The big and small things, everything, i still keep them.

I love keeping memories. I love reminiscing the past. I've never had a room all by myself until university. Since young, i slept at different rooms at home. When i was a very small kid, i squeeze in between my mom and dad, cos there was no other place. Now that i think of it, my dad and mom must had refrained from intimacy for a long while owing to my presence.

Then i started to shift to my sisters' room, then brothers' room, then back to sis's then here and there again. I stayed with roommates during high school and JC. It was until university that i could have a room all by myself. I love it, and am sad because of it too.

I tried very hard to make the room my home. I really made it that way. I displayed my treasures out, i put up a cross on my wall, i pasted a lot of notes around me telling me God is always with me and i am not lonely because of that (i am afraid of being alone..). I have my speaker playing peaceful music, i have my own study desk (for the first time in my entire life so far!!!), i have my own little space.

I also hate it when it comes to moving out of my little space. If you know me well enough, you will be able to understand how i feel. I feel very lonely each time i need to dismantle the little "my own space" that i have meticulously built over time. I feel very lonely because i dislike the fact that why i do not have a place called home. Why do i have to live like a traveler, being so mobile all the time? I want a home so badly, a place where i can stay and not kicked out. Living a life this way for one year is fine. 2 years - okay. 3 years - hold on. But 8 years . Drained at this point, already. I know it must be my fault. I shouldn't have come to Singapore to study. I should have expected my life to be this way when i chose my path here.

But.. i still want a home.

Today is the first day of hospital preceptorship. I'm posted to SGH and i know that it gonna be challenging because SGH is the busiest hospital in Singapore. I just want to discover how is God working through me during this period of time.

Woke up at 630am to get myself prepared. I didn't sleep well. The mattress that i am sleeping on is very thin, i can feel the hardness of the ground more than the softness the mattress can apply. But what more could you ask for? Afterall, this house is really crowded. And i am feeling quite bad to put soo many stuff here. However, I know that God will protect me and give me good rest every night.

Yep so i woke up at 630am, because i have to use the toilet before everyone wake up, if not i cannot finish using the bathroom before they wake up, and i will delay their schedule. Luckily, i felt quite refreshed. Not that bad :)

Blisters popped out on my feet before i even reached SGH. And you could imagine how i survive my whole day with my blisterful feet. I guess 80% of my concentration and effort was dedicated to managing the pain more than anything. I'm just hoping that they'll heal the next day. I have a good pair of shoes, it's from Clarks!! But i simply cannot wear covered shoes :(

SGH is really big. I guess there are 8 blocks, 1 national heart centre, 1 national dental centre, 1 national cancer centre etc. And the pharmacists in SGH walk like they are in walkathons! There's a tunnel that connects every block and i think it's pretty cool. Cos it gives us a fast link to get from one end to the other without having to cross roads and you can RUN in tunnel hee.

I got posted to inpatient ward for these 3 weeks. It's quite cool, cos we'll be dealing with surgery patients and burns and trauma patients. I really want to learn. My preceptor was absent today, i hope to see her tmr :) After these 3 weeks, i will be posted to Specialist Outpatient Clinic for another 3 weeks. I think i'm quite looking forward to it as well :)

Today, i discovered that pharmacist is really essential in patient management. I see pharmacists intervening when they feel that the doctor is prescribing the inappropriate medicine, i see how efficient they are in packing all the medications and knowing everything at their fingertips. I also experienced how a newbie could be bullied by pharmacy technician too. Well.. take it as a joke.

Today i felt hungry as soon as i started work. Working really makes on hungry and tired. And my lunch is so late.. 1.30pm!!! aiyoh! hee.