But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this
all-surpassing power is from God and
not from us. (2 Corinthians 4:7)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Started catching up with my studies on tuesday. I have so much to accomplish because i haven't been paying attention during lectures, piles of lecture notes to clear, presentations to prepare - i have 1 next wed, and 1 the week after next. I didn't know why my biotech group asked me to present, because i think zh will do a great job alone :) God, You know what, i didn't know what You have put in me, You have made me quite eloquent while i was with my project mates. It is always like that. Although i feel horrible within me, Your grace is sufficient for me. At appropriate times, You will give me enough strength to pull through, and You've made my project mates think that i can present the topics well to the class.

You didn't forget me. You took away something from me, and know that I am very sad and desolated within me. But in return, You bless me with other things, abundantly. God, I am so lucky. My project mates are very productive and tenacious bunch of people. They worked very hard for the project, and i know it's more important that I present it well eventually, because it's graded only through presentation. You've taken away my chance of being weak. Because You want me to know it's time to get up.

You didn't forget me. I thought i will eat my meals alone, and You know i am afraid of eating alone. Then You sent angels to accompany me, to eat lunch with me yesterday and today, and dinner. Because You want to encourage me, telling me You know what's best for me, You're the God who's been to my tomorrow and You're here to guide me out of the Land of Canaan. God, i know You won't keep sending angels to accompany me, to have meals with me. These 2 days You did so much, because You want me to tell me I'm not forgotten by You, and I have Your favour.

Thank you Father, and thanks angels.

Just one step at a time. As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet no one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows."
- Matthew 10:29

This is the 4th week of semester already. Time flies. And you feel it more so when you are occupied with many stuff, many events and activities. But time also makes you feel like you're rotting like an apple, and i feel it most now, after all the matches, trainings, happy gatherings ended. The past 4 weeks had passed, too swiftly in many ways. Good or bad i no longer know. But i like the distractions the business offer. Less time and space to think, and think, and THInk.

Feeling kind of disappointed with myself today, for being a moron, again. Barely utter any word. Mindy is trying so hard to get me to speak and all i could give is speechless smile. Not that i'm angry with my dear friend, it's because i needed to cool down very badly, today. If i can't get myself to cool down, i can feel myself falling into trough of sorrows again and again. And if i don't cool down enough, i can't go on.

God, i have always been questioning myself. Am i mentally impaired? the idea of escapism seeds within me and grow stronger and stronger day by day. why am i not able to be the cheerful gal my friend needed me to be, esp she is now going through a separation that had once doomed upon me too a year ago. God, i wanted to quarrel with you so so much. Why why WHY? everytime, everything, i ask You, because You are all i could turn for comfort, for answers.

God, today, i feel that, i'm holding a horrible grudge against You.
So wrong.
Yet i am being reminded that YOU do care for me.
God, it's the fear. Again and again.
Everyday is so difficult. Yet You said " as thy days, thy strength shall be in measure"

Let me feel that You're still beside me.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Touch Rugby .. Well done!

Finally.... this is the day! :) Well done KE Touch gals :) we beat sheares and raffles ahaha! We're fourth this year! hooray!!!

Oh ya, something worth mentioning ... mindy, this is our third year playing touch together! and i realised our chemistry grew stronger and did u realise? we didn't drop any ball during the games! :D And i feel good playing on the muddy field with you :) Love you loads. oh ya, our switch :P

The buddies :)

IHG has ended for me, because i am not taking part in other games after touch :) Here is the snapshots of IHG soccer and touch rugby.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Today... i feel loved :)

Woke up at 750am this morning because of TR training. Had very bad stomachache and diarrhea the night before, so it all made me quite tired and weak. Was having a bad time putting the contact lens into my right eye this morning. Yep it's the right eye, the eye which the doctor said it's abnormal. But i guess it still looks beautiful in ppl's eyes :D luckily after tmr i will wear less contact lens, less sports, less head movements. Was being warned that i should not do sports like running, rugby, dancing etc when i last visited the eye clinic. I guess, this should be my last time le. Jia you KE Touch girls, we'll just give our best tmr k?

Had a head-on collision with pik wei during training. It was really bad, putting both of us lying flat on the ground right away. Couldnt see for some time, because the collision point was on the right side of my head, near my eyes. Again. Pik Wei got a big bump on her forehead too. I guess we're too aggressive ba. Sorry girl. Haha, was feeling very giddy thereafter. I must jia you. I think i'm tougher than all these craps :)

After training, i went to meet judy, yiteng, and jiayuan at raffles city for lunch. We had our lunch at The Soup Spoon. I should say the soups there are quite nice. Big serving. Affordable price, and we chatted for very long. I really enjoy hanging out with them. Nanyang girls are just so nice huh :D And thank you judy for ur mega brush:) so proud of it ahaha! limited edition in singapore :P and thanks yiteng for the handphone strap :)

Met up with 07/03 gang for dinner after that. Was supposed to go Clarke Quay but chung phong has craving for thai food so we ended up at thai express. And guess what? we went to raffles city! aND thai express is just opposite the Soup Spoon ! jokes man! Henry is leaving this feb to australia. So this gathering is a farewell dinner for our dear Henry. i'm glad for you k? You've made up your mind, finally! You told me that you're inspired by my blog posts at times. If this blog has given you some encouragement here and thre, hc will continue to write better, and more spiritual blog posts k? Just... don't give up this time. I'm here if you want to talk/ complain :) Medicine is a tough course i know, but i have faith in you. And i have greater faith in the one supporting you, and that's God :)

"Where does my help come from? My help com from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, He will not let your foot slip -- He who watches over you will not slumber"
God is alive, and He loves me.