I have been well I guess. Mid-way through my pre-reg already, if you are me how would you feel? Time flies I always say, and I have to say it once again. Time flies, and I am going to fly too haha!
Spent more time thinking lately. Not that I've not been thinking, but lately the thread of thoughts have taken another path, a new path I have to say. Will let you know once it's confirmed.
It's my inpatient rotation now - inpatient means wards. So I am now dealing with patients in the wards already. Have you ever wondered what a pharmacist do?
Many people ask why am I so busy when all that you do is to tell patient 'This is panadol. Eat 2 tablets four times a day for fever and headache."
At times I felt insulted when I heard these.
But very quickly, my heart immediately feel at peace because I know that I do not care much about what people think or say about me or my profession, my greatest consolation is that God knows.
Perhaps it's this indifference that makes me more hesitant in commenting on stuff.
Perhaps it's this indifference that makes me want to do more for patients if it's within my capability, albeit nobody thinks highly of pharmacist.
I am glad, for God maintains this serenity in me. I still go to bed every day with a tired physical body but I always wake up with a soul full of passion and adrenaline to do what I should. I finally learn to live with grace alone.
Inpatient pharmacy is like a battle.
Doctor writes orders for medication --> medication orders sent to pharmacy --> pharmacy staff have to check if the medications prescribed are appropriate --> sometimes we call up doctors to discuss about better alternatives --> process orders and supply.
In the afternoon pharmacists have to review all patients' medication profile in the ward. If you think reviewing is easy then you're quite wrong.
Do you know what it means by an appropriate therapeutic option?
A drug can be an option for a particular treatment yet it can be unsuitable for patient. Do you know how appropriate a drug is to a patient depends on patient's renal, liver condition, his age, his intake, his output, his illness, how sick is he, is he able to take medicine orally etc etc.
Do you know how much considerations one has to go through before deciding to go forth with a particular drug? And do you know drugs interact with one another too?
And if 1 ward has 30 beds, do you know how long it takes to review a ward?
And if there are 2 wards to review and you only have 2 hours, it feels so awful?
But I must say I like inpatient. Although it's a mad rush during discharge time, but it's then that I appreciate the role of a pharmacist more. As a guardian of rationale drug therapy, like what doreen always advocates, I do agree we have to intervene until the best is given to patients.
I am in S3. Ward 3 is a geriatric ward. Ward 2&3 feel like a mini-IMH most of the times. You see very old people. You see quite a number of patients sent from IMH for critical treatment. You see a lot of old people lying down and letting you do all that you want. You see very pathetic scenes. Sometimes you will hear people screaming.
The world is so real. SO is a hospital. I have much consolidation of thoughts throughout my rotation in geriatric wards. All they need is not medical treatment, but rather, a healthy consistent dosing of loving tender care. They need love.
If one day I am an old and frail 80 year old lady, please let the doctor know I've signed DNR. Please also don't poke me with needles and tubes and catheters and pumping me with potent antibiotics etc etc. Let me go.
Sad things aside, lately I have quite a number of encounters with patient. Yesterday, this 74 year old Eurasian lady sitting on a wheel-chair wrapped her hands around my waist and said thank you for nothing to grave to thank about.
You might feel like vomiting if you hear this but I feel like crying then.
She said "You're like a flower. Are you married? You are always smiling, you look so loving and caring." - when all that I did was to explain the importance of lactulose in her condition and told her not to miss that anymore.
She held my hands and gave me a gentle kiss and said God bless. I felt like crying. I felt as if God has been looking at what I've been doing and am doing. I just felt so trembled within.
And I thank God for giving me this consistent bolus of passion to serve. For without Him I am nothing, yet through Him I already have everything.
It is also because of His consistent guidance that I know that my life has a greater purpose and I am walking towards it.
Pray for me :)
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