Wounded

I really cannot take it anymore. This week has been over-eventful.

Why things have to turn out this way? Why things with good intention will be interpreted as risk and harm?

I really don’t care about what people will think of me. I really did it with good intention.

But it feels so darn awful when things get shot back in the most unexpected manner, and it’s no longer about whether you care what others think of you. Because YOU is now an understatement. It’s the identity you carry along with your name that’s involved now.

I feel really upset God L

I know I shouldn't but I really feel more awful when such things happen, You didn’t leave me alone, neither is Your grace. You once again has proven to me that I am in the right place where You can make me stronger. My heart is wounded, self-esteem crushed, confidence plunged to the bottomless pit - yet the team backed me up as if there's tonnes of spirit backing them up too. The bitter and sweet taste. And warmth.

Thank you for the thoughtful voice.

Thank you for the angry voice scolding me that you'll slap me if I really shed a tear for that matter or person.

Yet when strings of things come to me one after another, is it really not me?

And if it’s me, what could I have done better?

God have you planned all these before hand? If you haven’t then why I have to leave this country at this point of time?

God, if you could, can You ensure that I won’t get into situations that can terrorize people again?I am sufficiently frightened.