How to Praise You in this Storm?

"I am in tears yet I am calm..."

Do you hate to see someone crying? I guess it depends a lot on who that person is to you.

I used to hate crying, because it hurts to see someone crying, anyone.

Do you cry when you're hurt? Be it physically or emotionally.

I remembered people in JC know me by someone who does not shed tears easily.

Once, I saw the most bloody person I've ever seen. Someone who was injured so much because of an accident after blading, yet not tearing.

That was the first physical hurt that made me cry I guess. But that physical hurt was not on me, but it was translated to me, and then transformed into something emotionally hurtful.

Many people became emotionally irrational when tearing.

But I found myself to be emotionally calm yet tearing at the same time. For the longest time ever, I sat at the swimming pool, very dark at night. There were only stars and me, and God.

不管天有多黑，星星还在夜里闪亮。

不管夜有多长，黎明早已在那头盼望。

不管山有多高，信心的歌把它踏在脚下。

不管路有多远，心中有爱仍然可以走到云端。

谁能跨过艰难，谁能飞跃沮丧，

谁能看见前面有梦可想，

上帝的心看见希望，你的心里要有眼光。

I cried for the longest time, yet I felt calm at the same time.

You cannot tell anyone, because no one will ever understand what you're going through.

Perhaps, I have been bottling up for the longest time ever, because of repetitive failures.

So in the end, it left only me and stars, and God.

God, I can only hope You understand.

This is the largest ever turmoil I've ever gone through.

At the most intricate timing.

I want to praise You in this storm. I don't know how. Could You teach me?

God, today, You've pushed me to my limit, again.

I don't know what about tomorrow.

I just am dead tired.