Happy Chinese New Year!!

The long-awaited break had come and I will be heading back to Singapore in a few hours time. Once again, I gonna say - time really flies :)

I didn't go out to visit many relatives. Opted to stay home most times. Not that I need to do work (yes i actually need to, but just too much inertia to do so), I wanted to rest that much. Jaded by work? Not really. Not to that extent yet. It's just that, at some points of your life, you'd wish to just halt for a second and let the brain go dead for that second.

Lately I've been running away from many things.

I haven't found time to sort the things out yet. So many things to sort out, all wired up in my brain, yet I don't have the time to unwire all of them. I didn't dare to un-wire them abruptly or do so in a rush (i am always good at doing things in a hurry mode), because they are important elements/ things to me, and I don't want to ANYHOW deal with them.

I need to find time.

Yet deadline is my most imminent enemy these days.

Had just finished one case presentation last Tuesday - The patient in ICU. I briefly mentioned him a couple of posts back. The presentation was well done and I really got a lot of good comments. I felt relieved. Really. I knew I was digging my own grave when doing this case, yet I couldn't let it go - because of the expressions of the mom and son. Although he passed away, eventually, deep down in my heart - I know I've learnt a lot from just this "encounter".

Back to the deadlines - pre-reg is ending soon.

Next Monday I'll be taking the Board Exam. I will get my license - if I pass the exam.

Then it'll be pre-reg project presentation few days after the exam - not even 30% done and I am so gonna vomit blood already.

Next will be the write-up.

Then the learning log - I really am quite sick of all these :(

And it's so easy to forget who's in control when things get busier.

God seems to be the last in my mind - yet He's always the first to hold my hands all the time.

Such an unfaithful me lately.

This is so human. Suddenly I am disgusted by myself. Because I assume one of the characteristics which I detest most in my entire life so far - To take people for granted, especially the one whom love you most.

This is so me - when things get busier, I became thrifty with my prayers and communication with God. I couldn't even attend my regular church meetings - and how could I have done that?Those are the only times that I get strengths to renew to live my life.

So I am practically a walking zombie.

I feel so far from the spirit.

Gosh, God.

I need to take things One step at a time.

If I say, "My foot slips,"

Your Mercy, O Lord, will hold me up.

Psalm 94:18